Noah Augustine,

An Autobiography

When asked "Who are you?", I am like many who can't respond.
I grew up in my hometown reservation of Metepenagiag, New Brunswick's oldest village.
I am a grandson of Joseph M. Augustine, a man of great wisdom, memories and respect.
I've challenged the system all my life, and feel that I've always given it my best.
I have been proclaimed as a role model and a fool. I believe in helping people, and have
often hurt people. I sometimes know who I am.

I am a product of an Indian reservation.

As a child growing up on the rez, I lived with my mother and two sisters. My skin colour was lighter than most, causing conflict both within myself and on the streets. I was often referred to as "honkey" on reserve, and "injun" off reserve. I learned to fight to survive. As a teenager, I quickly learned that I had a label attached to my identity. My last name and place of residence often determined the scope of my social activities. I was ashamed to be Indian.

I was fortunate to further my education after high school. My English teacher told me I would never make it to university. He often ridiculed me in front of the class.

And this is where the real challenges began. It was not until my third year of post-secondary education that I discovered who I really was -- a descendant of a proud Mi'kmaq heritage. The fundamental elements of our culture are not taught in non- native education systems or general society.

As native people, we are forced into a journey of self-discovery. I soon learned why people
do what they do, hurt when they hurt, and cry when they cry. What is important is that we never lose sight of who we are, and never forget where we come from. Our lives are but a cycle, and this world is our stage …

… So, who am I? I am Mi'kmaq Indian from Metepenagiag First Nation.
I am grandson of Jospeh M. Augustine. And I am the product
of an Indian reservation -- and proud of it.

I would never change who am I, or feel sorry
for the experiences that I have had. I consider
myself fortunate to have fought the battles
I have fought, and to receive the teachings that
I have received. And, as I state in the poem,

"battles perceived as failures are the ironic triumphs of life, for the lessons of life are understood only by those who know the difference."


Modern Society

Who defines equality
in modern day society
and what about morality
drowning in obscurity
Excluded from majority
by labels like ‘minority',
oppressing inferiority
breeds challenged opportunity.
And government authority,
so far removed from reality
and full of fake sincerity –
It's bureaucratic prosperity.
And imposed christianity,
describing immortality
with life for eternity
I'm confused with spirituality.
With unrecognized adversity
of cultural personalities,
and ignoring what disparity
blossoms from humanity.
It is known with no uncertainty
that we shall walk in our anxieties
when dealing with hostility
for no one truly believes in equality.
Who should that man be?
 

When a lonely tree of hope grows slowly
In the ominous shadows of oppression –
Its encumbered branches twisted and contorted
by the antagonistic winds of Canadian society;
Its enfeebled leaves detaching themselves effortlessly
from its copula of life to drift aimlessly about,
who should that man be who nurtures that tree to life,
when the wrath of the storm has not yet begun.
When a lonely, drunken indian occupies his post
at a street corner in downtown Winnipeg –
his long, tousled hair hanging over his extended bare hands;
his inaudible words spilling over each other as he begs for change,
who should that man be who frequents his sorrow each day
at the corner of agony and grief, when the sun shines bright from above.
When another lost Indian is found hanging from
a deadly noose, on the strings of depression –
an empty bottle of pills lying beside his loneliness;
a brief note of personal affliction lying beneath his feet,
who should that man be who lifts without strength
the lifeless body of a tortured soul,
when the shrill echo of his cry still carries in the wind.
Who should that man be?

   The child of a burning Legacy

I was born on an Indian reservation, the child of a burning legacy.
I've fought battles no man has ever won, and lost like the rest of them.
I've fought the lion in the jungle, only to feed him his dinner.
I rallied the troops on prophetic words of wisdom, and they marched forward.
But, before the war even started, a warrior was found dead.
He was the only one not listening. I have since learned to listen.

I once claimed the discovery of a people, only to lose them myself.
I walked both sides of loneliness, and felt both sides of pain.
Battles perceived as victory are meagre tenets of promise,
until the battle is truly won. Battles perceived as failures
are the ironic triumphs of life, for the lessons of life
are understood only by those who know the difference.

I found a friend in loneliness, and we visited many places.
We heard power is now friends with the enemy of oppression.
The battlefield is quiet now. It is less a memorial to the carnage
of merciless victims and fallen warriors, than it is a lonely grave site
of valiant souls, lapsed from the consciousness of society.
And, the child of a burning legacy still dreams of the battle.